Who’s in Your Bed? by The Marriage Bed
You’re getting into bed to make love with your husband. You step over a pile of romance novels, chick flicks, and porn videos. You climb over your mother and the guy you lost your virginity to in college. Your father and your pastor are sitting at the foot of the bed. On the far side of your husband are his parents, his older sibling, and several girls and women you don’t know.
That’s hardly a good setting for a great night of sex, is it? Unfortunately, this, or something like it, is the reality many women face with sex. The actual people aren’t between the sheets, but their input and memories of them are such that they might as well be there in bed. What those people said and did is affecting what you think and feel about sex. It pushes you in a certain way and keeps you from doing certain things.
If your marriage bed is full of sexual ghosts that’s a huge problem.
Even if you and your hubby have shared your sexual pasts with each other that doesn’t mean you’ve put those things to rest. If what those people said and/or did still cause you fear, shame, pain, embarrassment, or excitement they’re still part of your sex life. The same is true for the people (and porn) from his past.
The only way you will be able to have great sex is to kick all those trespassers out of your minds and marriage bed. It won’t be easy, and it will take time. Some won’t want to go, and some will try to come back. But none of them belongs there and you need to keep throwing them out till they stay gone.
What ghosts have you and your man allowed to haunt your sex life? Have you had enough? Are you ready to act?
[This also includes adultery partners - and is a very real threat to restoring intimacy after an affair. See my entry on "Soul Ties" on the Restoration page, as well as the many articles on Restoring Intimacy After Adultery.]
On Overcoming Broken Trust, Adultery, Betrayal, Broken Marriage, or even Understanding What Just Happened
Kealios' Repository of Knowledge of Many Things
On Forgiveness, Hearing or Drawing Near to God
The amount of resources that we have as Standers is staggering. Every topic possible can be used in your Stand:
The book list on the Restoration page was getting cramped, so I am making this as an additional resource, a "one stop shop" as it were, to find books on these important topics and more.
Many of these I have purchased and read. Some I have purchased and not yet read, and yet others I have not purchased at all, but have them included as recommendations because they have blessed other Standers.
NOTE: I have no affiliation with any website linked below in the images. My intent is merely to give you a quick access to the book and a vendor, nothing more. This is but a sampling of the books available on any subject; apologies if your favorite tome isn't shown below.
On Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage